Sunday, May 23, 2010


I starred at the awaiting aircraft in front of me. Dreading the next hour and a half. I could only imagine what was being said. Three cold showers later, and I still couldn’t shake the heat from my crotch. I wasn’t horny, per se, but I wanted to fuck her last night. I needed to fuck her last night. I just needed to be . . . oh fuck, I don’t even know. We made out like two high school students. Trying to get as much tongue action as possible before the parents came in to ruin the fun. I kissed her and squeezed her ass on her doorsteps, but she shut me down. She’s got me wrapped around her finger with her body, and I don’t want to be. I should be on the prowl, not bitching about not sleeping with her.

“What are we starring at?” I jumped at the sound of Talbot’s voice. I glanced over to see he was standing next to me, starring at the same spot my eyes were previously fixated on.

“Nothing, just spaced out,” I grumbled as I quickly headed for the stairs. Talbot was right behind me as we walked on to the plane and made our way to our seats. I sat alone on flights, not because I was one of those guys that needed space, that’s just how it always worked out for me. I was perfectly okay with it too. I tossed my bag into the window seat and slid my way into the aisle one. So far it was business as usual on the plane, but when my eyes scanned over the cabin I realized Billy wasn’t even here yet.

My confidence that was slowly building back up came crashing down when he walked on the plane and stopped just in front of me. “Well you look exhausted," he whipped his head around as he put extra emphasis on the last word. “She must have changed her mind.”

I didn’t say anything to him, I just glared at him. His demeanor quickly changed. “Oh man, that sucks.” He kept his face serious until he walked past me and I hear his chuckles. My head dropped down and I knew this was going to be a long flight.

Once we were safely in the air, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see a grinning Maxime Talbot. Fuck, it’s already begun. “What?”

“Is it true? Her boobs? They’re big?”

“Talbot, you’ve seen her.”

“Doesn’t mean I remember her,” he stated blankly like this was a common occurrence with him. I rolled my eyes and turned in my chair to sit looking forward once again.

“Come on Addsy. Guerin is chalking this girl up to be a solid eight.” I got up from my seat and headed to where everyone was crowded around Billy.

“Okay enough, I don’t want you talking about her to the guys.”

“Why?” Billy asked with a shit-eating grin. “Is she more than just a lay Addsy? Because if she is, I’ll back off right now.”

I knew what he was doing, and he was far from the truth. “She’s not even a lay anymore Billy, you were there.” Wide eyes turned to me and I realized my misstep.

“You’re not sleeping with her? But, I thought-“ Talbot asked looking around to see if anyone knew what was going on.

“I was. I am. No. Fuck this. I don’t have to answer anything,” I grumbled before turning to leave but I caught the look on Billy’s face.

“Admit it Addsy, if you admit it, I’ll drop the subject.”

“Admit what? That I like the girl? That I’m constantly thinking about her? That she makes me fucking insane; because of her I’ve been able to pick up on the smallest fucking things. Like if my napkin is straight or if Carcillo is going to go for my head or my knees? What do you want me to admit? Since I’ve met her I feel like somewhere in my brain things are clicking like they haven’t before?”

A dozen or so pairs of eyes looked back at me in shock.

“Oh fuck. I like the crazy.” Realization hit me hard. Harder than what I would have liked. Do I really spend my free time thinking about her? Yeah, I guess I do. It feels like everything in my non-hockey life revolves around her. How though? How did this happen?

Was it a fair match up? Some would say no, but I know how to carry my own. Lucic was just a pest all night, and I was the one he decided to cross check, and I was the only one to forget about the puck and go right back at him. He landed a punch and I went down. Didn’t complete knock me out though, I lazily got to my feet and threw one punch to his chin before I collapsed again. It was then I woke up in the locker room.

“Fucking Christ Adams, how did you manage to land a punch before blacking out?” I looked up at Chris as he pulled away the smelling salts from my nose.

“That’s just how I do,” I chuckled as I sat up on the table and felt the headache begin behind my right eye.

“Cocky bastard,” he laughed before he tossed me a bag of ice and I held it to my eye. It was going to be a long night that was for sure. I heard the loud buzzer outside of the locker room indicating the game was over, and we were heading home with another W on our schedule.

“How you feeling Addsy?” Gogo asked as he walked in to grab some ice of his own.

“Headache, could go for a beer, the usual. Good job tonight, final score end up four to two?”

“Nope, your little tiff with Lucic somehow, someway, I have no fucking clue, caused Boston to fall apart. We scored three goals in the last four minutes. So first round of beers are on Godard tonight, it’s his turn.” I nodded my head. It sounded like a good plan to me. An excellent plan actually.

Just as planned, Godard got the first round of beers at the hotel bar. I held the cold bottle to my eye and couldn’t help but let my mind wander to her. Her breasts, her thighs, her skin pressed against mine as we had sex. I thought about how perfect of a woman she could be, if she just kept her mouth shut. “What troubles you?” Talbot asked as he hopped on the bar stool next to me.

“Nothing you can help me with,” I laughed as I pulled the beer away from my face and took a long pull.

“Oh come on Craig, no teasing, no bullshit, lay it on me.”

I glanced over at him and could tell he was being serious. Even then though, Talbot has no real advice on relationships. What was he going to say? ‘What’s wrong with a casual fuck?’ ‘Just go for it!’ That wasn’t what I was looking for; I was in a situation I just didn’t want to be in, at all. “I can’t stop thinking about her, and I don’t want to be thinking about her.”

“What’s so wrong about her?”

"She drives me absolutely crazy in a bad, bad way."

“Would it be that hard to just keep your utensils in order?” He laughed before he saw my glare. “Seriously though, on a person level, do you know her?”

I thought about it, I knew she was an author, I knew she smoked that strawberry crap, that she dressed like she was in the 80’s. Other than that, I didn’t know her at all. What I already knew though was tearing me apart, did I really want to know more? “Mon ami, you got it bad. Don’t let her get away.”

I glanced over at Talbot and could see the distant look in his eyes. He’d been down this road before. He lost a girl before. I wouldn’t dare ask about it though. Knowing Talbot, he’d laugh and then threaten my life. “So do I talk to her?”

“You get to know her, find out if this is a fluke or if it’s for real. It’ll save you a lot of time in the end.” I looked at Talbot and smiled my gratitude at him. He wasn’t a complete bonehead after all. “You might wanna wait until that eye of yours is more presentable though. It’s kind of ugly. Well I mean you’re ugly to begin with, that just doesn’t help.”

“Thanks Talbot, I’ll pick up some makeup.”

Once back in Pittsburgh, I pulled my truck into my driveway and sat there, starring at her front door. I glanced down at the Barnes and Nobel bag on the passenger seat, filled with her books. What was I supposed to say? I wanted to see her, I wanted to feel her. Do I just knock on the door and say ”Hi, can I hold your titties while you tell me about your life?” I highly doubt that would go over well. I opened my truck door and got out. I glanced in the side view mirror and laughed at the black, swollen skin below my right eye.

Before I could even figure out what the hell I was doing, her door opened and she smiled at me. That smile quickly disappeared though. “What happened to you? Walk into a poll?” She grabbed onto my hand and dragged me inside of her home, straight to the kitchen. It was the first time I had been inside of her place. It was eclectic. I wasn’t expecting that, but then again, I didn’t know her, so I shouldn’t have expected anything. She pulled out a zip lock bag from a drawer and quickly filled it with ice, handing it to me once she sealed it. We sat down at her kitchen table and I took my time looking around. Bright colors, artifacts, just life. Life I didn’t know.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened?”

I looked at her and her hands were clasped together in front of her on the table. Her upper arms pushed her breasts together, and her low cut top showed off her deep cleavage. I brought my eyesight back up to her eyes and covered my right eye with the ice. “I play hockey. I got punched.”

“That is so barbaric, throwing punches, black eyes. I don’t know how you can do it.”

“Well you should see the other guy,” I smiled at her. Sure I was the one that took the beating, but she didn’t know anything about hockey, it wasn’t like she actually saw the fight.

“He didn’t end up on his ass though,” she stated like I was a complete idiot. Like I wasn’t there. I was confused. Did she . . .? No.

“You watched the game?”

“I was bored, it was on. I was in- oh that doesn’t matter. I saw the fight. You made him bleed though. That was gross.”

“So why did you ask how I got the black eye, if you already knew?”

She shrugged her shoulders, which only pushed her breasts out further towards me. “I guess I was just curious as to what you would say. How does it feel? Your eyeball?”

My eyeball. She asked about my eyeball. “My eyeball is okay, I can still see you flaunting your breasts in front of me, just asking me to pin you down on this table right now.” Her eyes widened and she pulled her arms off the table, leaning back into her chair. Her breasts going back into place under her shirt. “Nothing you can do now, the image is still in my head.”

“Well then get it out.”

“I like you.”

She laughed at my confession. Not exactly how I wanted her to react, but then again, I shouldn’t expect anything of her. “No you don’t, you can’t stand me. Now you’re just pissed cause I don’t want to have sex with you anymore, so you’re trying to get in emotionally. I’m not stupid Craig, I know what you’re doing.”

I starred back at her dumbfounded. She had no fucking clue what she did to me, and I had a feeling she could care less as well. I pulled the ice away from my eye and looked at her. Looked in her eyes, trying to see in her brain. There was nothing there, absolutely nothing. So this is what it felt like to be rejected. This really fucking sucks.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


My eyes rolled over the curves of her face and her extremely perky upper body as we waited patiently to hear the verdict of her first whiskey sour. The corner of the mouth curled up the slightest bit and I knew she liked it, and maybe, just maybe, I’d get lucky tonight. I couldn’t help but imagine her naked sitting next to me. Her nipples erect, sagging just the slightest bit from their weight. I always had eyes for smaller breasts, and then Madison came along. Going from pinching nipples to grabbing a hand full was like going from a Honda to a Mercedes. I was officially a boob man.

“Well?” Billy asked her, which caused me to bring my attention back to her face. I continued to watch her and she turned her attention to me.

“I can’t sleep with you anymore.”

Sleep with me. Can’t sleep with me. Wait. “WHAT?!”

“Oh, you meant the drink? It’s good actually, I’m shocked I like it.” She picked her glass back up and sipped on it like nothing happened. Did she, honest to God, just announce she could no longer sleep with me in front of Billy? In front of Bill ‘Fucking Loud Mouth, Can’t Keep A Secret Worth A Shit’ Guerin?!

“Wait. Wait! Wait! Wait! Did you just tell Addsy you can’t sleep with him anymore? Is this real life right now?” Billy asked as he laughed his ass off. I was still in disbelief. My jaw was still on the floor as I continued to look at her. She turned her head and looked at me. She had that fucking innocent look on her face. Like nothing just happened. Nothing at all.

“Look Craig, I was thinking and-“

“Can we talk about this later please? In private?” I asked not wanting her to elaborate more than she already has in front of my teammate. The waiter was tableside once again to take our dinner order, and I had to grab Madison’s hand from fixing my napkin. It was crooked I know, but she needed to learn self control around me, because she was driving me fucking crazy. Not in a good way either. She picked up her glass and finished off her drink, quickly setting it down before lunging for my napkin to straighten it. Billy continued to laugh from across us and I looked up at the waitor.

“Bar steaks, medium-rare, for the jackass and I, the lady will have . . . what do you want? To eat?” I asked Madison as she pointed to the happy hour menu, her finger landing on the cheeseburger. “The cheeseburger. Also another round of drinks, quickly please,” I pleaded and the young kid nodded his head before disappearing.

“So, Madison. As you were saying, you write books. What about your free time? Do anything fun in your free time? Besides Craig?” Billy asked trying his damn hardest to keep a straight face. I cursed to myself under my breath as I looked towards the bar to see our waiter waiting for the drinks the bartender was currently making.

“I see what you did there,” she laughed, but I continued to keep my eyes on the waiter, watching as he walked over with a tray of drinks. I snatched mine before he even set it down on the table, drinking half of it. “I like to garden, and smoke hookah. Most of my time is consumed writing though. Inspiration can hit you at any moment.”

“You must have a healthy educational background then,” Billy stated giving me a glance to warn me on my alcohol intake. This night had already gone to shit, Billy had me by the balls, how much more of a disaster could it become?

“Dropped out. Two years into Pitt. Not a proud moment in my life, but I’ve been fine ever since.”

“You know, Addsy here has a degree from Harvard,” Billy smiled and I looked down at my drink. I typically didn’t like bringing that subject up. I don’t know why, but I didn’t like throwing around that I had a degree, from Harvard of all places. Yes it was something to be proud of, but I didn’t want to be a pompous ass like most Harvard Alum is about it. If I wanted to be cocky and impress someone I would go with the whole playing in the NHL swagger. An NHL player is more likely to get ass from a hot chick than a Harvard graduate is. I experimented. I know this shit.

“Really?” She blurted out before throwing herself into a fit of giggles. This was another reason why I didn’t throw it out there. I was a jock. Who was going to believe a jock has a Harvard degree. “What’d you study?” She asked, but she was still laughing.

“I have a degree in history, with a concentration in south Asia. Fair Harvard we join in thy Jubilee throng, and with blessings surrender thee o’er by these festival rites, from the age that is past, to the age that is waiting before. Oh relic and type of our ancestors’ worth, that hast long kept their memory warm, first flow’r of their wilderness! Star of their night! Calm rising through change and through storm. Now if you can excuse me for a minute.” I pushed myself away from the booth and walked over to the bar, empty glass in hand. The alma mater was still implanted in my head, ten years after receiving my diploma. My blood was a strategic blend of Harvard crimson, Canadian and Bruneian; there was no doubting that.

I ordered another drink from the bartender, and could feel the anger creeping through my body. This night wasn’t going too smoothly, and I was pissed off at that fact. I wanted it to go good. I wanted to enjoy the sight of Madison’s body, even if it is hidden under those hideous clothes, and I wanted her to have fun with us. I wanted to have fun, now I was fucking pissed. Any other night, any other woman, I’d be able to just brush this all off and laugh along with them, but for some fucking reason, I couldn’t.

“I’m gonna eat your steak!” I heard Billy yell and I turned around to see the waiter setting our food down. I grabbed my fresh drink and headed back to the table. Madison looked at me with apologetic eyes. What was she silently apologizing for? A certain moment of the night? Or all of it? If I could have things my way, I’d make her apologize to me right now in the men’s bathroom . . . from her knees.

“Craig, maybe you should pace yourself buddy,” Billy suggested as he chewed on a piece of steak. I glared at him and set down my drink. I placed my napkin in my lap, where hopefully Madison will leave it. Maybe if we were too busy eating, conversation would halt and I could calm myself down. Who the fuck was I kidding though, I was here with Billy.

I waited, and waited. For someone to start talking, about anything. Now the silence was almost brutal. “Everyone’s food okay?” I asked just to create some noise.

“Not the best steak in town, but still decent,” Billy smiled before shoving another piece in his mouth.

“I’m sorry!” Madison suddenly shouted out. This was new for her. This whole blurting things out whenever she felt like it.

“Sorry for what part?” I asked wanting her to be more specific.

“For doubting your education. That’s something I don’t have, a degree . . . I was out of line to laugh.” I looked over at her and nodded my head, acknowledging her apology the best way I could.

“Aww, the first lover’s quarrel,” Billy sighed and I glared at him once again.

We finished off dinner in the most civilized way we could manage, but at the end of the night, I was drunk and so was Madison. She was a flirty drunk, her thigh rubbing hard against mine. Her hand occasionally landing on my knee, as she would laugh at some stupid ass line Billy would feed her.

Once we finally figured out how we were getting home, I handed over my truck keys to Billy, as he was sober as a stone cold corpse. Madison and I on the other hand continued arguing over how we would get home. She wanted to walk, while I wanted to just call a taxi. We were still standing there discussing our options as Billy drove by waving and laughing.

She finally reached forward and linked her fingers through mine, dragging me toward Carson street. Our hands stayed in contact as we waited for the green man to appear for us to walk across the main road. I wasn’t even paying attention when the light changed, I just allowed her to drag me across the street like a little kid. “Why can’t we just call a cab?” I groaned, but before I knew it, we were taking seats on the incline.

She leaned into me on the wood bench as the trolley began its climb up to Mount Washington. We didn’t say anything; we just watched the city grow the higher we went. At the top of the hill, she paid for our trip and we walked to the first lookout to admire the cityscape in silence.

“Craig,” she whispered turning toward me. I turned to face her, and she took a step forward, her breasts rubbing against my chest. My heart rate quickened, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. She sure as hell was confusing me though. “What I said before, about not sleeping with you anymore.”

I smiled at her. “You changed your mind?”

She leaned forward, her hands on my chest to keep her balance. “No, I really can’t sleep with you anymore, I was told you’re a bad influence, that you’re a bad boy. Besides, let’s not kid ourselves, we drive each other crazy, and not in the good way.”

I groaned inwardly and pressed my pelvis into her, hoping she’d change her mind. “If you can’t sleep with me anymore, than why are you sucking on my ear?”

Monday, May 17, 2010


“I’m turning into a whore. You have no idea. The minute we’re in the bedroom, I want to be on my back, legs open, like a whore.”

“Madison, I’m gonna need you to take this conversation back a few steps. How about we start with ‘hi, how are you?’”

I rolled my eyes as I leaned back in my desk chair and felt the muscles in my back tighten. “Hi Stacy, how are you?”

“I’m good, thanks for asking. How are you? Oh right, you’re feeling like a whore. May I ask who you’re seeing?”

“The hockey player.”


“Jesus, don’t tell the whole neighborhood,” I snap at her.

“Madison, do you have any idea what you’re doing? This is Craig Adams we’re talking about. A cigar-smoking, whiskey-drinking, straight up bad boy. He can’t be a good influence for you.”

“Oh. Wait. I know what you’re trying to say. I hate the guy.”

Silence filled my ear and I pulled the phone away from my ear to see if we were still connected. When I saw the numbers still ticking away I began to count with them.

“I’m confused.” Fourteen seconds. It took her fourteen seconds to respond. “You hate the guy, but you’re sleeping with him?”

“Yes, this is why I feel like a whore. I’m using him for his body.”

“Okay then. Just don’t get pregnant, okay?”

My eyes grew wide, and I stopped breathing for a moment. “Don’t jinx me Stacy.”

“Jinx you?! You can’t be serious.”

“Okay, gotta go! Bye!” I quickly hung up the phone and set it back in its cradle on my desk. I look down at my stomach and place my hands over the belt of my jeans. I shouldn’t be sleeping with him. If and when I want children, it most definitely needs to be with someone who has an education. Not a jock. This was it. No more sex.

Knowing now there was no one I could possibly concentrate on my book, I headed for the balcony for a well needed hookah session.

My breath caught in my chest when Craig stepped out on his balcony wearing a blue suit. I held the smoke in my mouth and allowed it to slowly seep out through my nostrils. How could he look so good? This wasn’t possible. Was I accidentally smoking pot? I blinked my eyes a few times, trying to adjust what I was seeing, but there he was. Looking . . . manly . . . in such a beautiful way.

He mumbled off something about dinner, with his “boyfriend”. What were the kids calling that now-a-days? Bromance?

“What’s with the suit?” I asked just trying to keep conversation while I processed his jumbled mess in my head.

“I have a game tonight. Do you want to come?”

“No. I was just curious.”

“So dinner. Tomorrow night?”

I swirled the idea in my head. There were many pros and cons to agreeing, but I had nothing else to do. Plus this might give me the chance to tell him I was closing up my legs. “I guess.”

“Okay, well then. I guess I’ll check with you in the morning about what we can do?”

“I guess.”

“Alright then. Have a good night.”

“Thanks. Don’t get killed.”

“I . . . never . . . what?”

“Hockey. It looks dangerous. Don’t get killed.” I really wanted to say not to mess up his body. It’d be a damn shame to see it go to waste being wrapped up in hard casts. Just because I didn’t want to have sex with him anymore, didn’t mean I’d have to stop admiring. All he had to do anyways was say something ignorant to dry me right up. This was a foolproof plan.

After refusing a ride from Craig for the fifth time, I set out on foot toward the Monongahela incline. It was easy and convenient and would take me straight to Station Square. Why waste gas when you can just walk?

Once off the incline, I simple crossed the street and it wasn’t much longer till I reached Bar Louie. I looked inside, only a few patrons on a Tuesday night, but no Craig in sight. I beat him here. We left at the same time. What a damn fool.

“You must be Madison.” I turned at the sound of my name and was greeted by a scruffy looking man, one I had recognized from Craig’s balcony.

“Yes, that’s me,” I smile patiently waiting for him to introduce himself.

“I’m Bill, I’m one of Craig’s teammates, but I’m sure he already told you that.”

“He did, well it’s nice to meet you properly now. There was a huge misunderstanding the first time we met,” I felt myself blush as he chuckled to himself.

“Yes I heard, should we go in and find a table? Addsy is rarely ever on time.”

“Funny thing is, we left at the same time, I chose to walk,” I smiled at Bill before we walked inside of the restaurant and seated ourselves in a booth towards the back. I quickly tidied up the place setting in front of me that the waiter sloppily set down. Once satisfied I looked up and smiled at Bill, his face was bright red before his eyes drifted to over my shoulder.

“Here he comes,” he leaned forward and whispered to me before he sat up right. “About damn time you got here Addsy. It’s never polite to keep your lady waiting.”

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked up at Craig who then slid himself into the seat next to me. Your lady? Did he tell Bill about us? Did he tell people we were together? Oh dear Lord.

“Sorry, got a speeding ticket,” he explained and I snorted under my hand. He side glanced at me and I gave him the ‘told you so’ look. The waiter arrived at our table and asked what we would like to drink, and just as I was going to order water, Bill ordered for all three of us.

“Two Johnnies, short doubles for Mario Andretti and I, and the lady will have a single whiskey sour. Make sure the bartender knows not to jip her on the mix. The lady would like a real drink tonight since we’re celebrating.” The waiter nodded his head a little intimidated before speed walking to the bar.

“Celebrating? Celebrating what?” I asked curious as my hand reached up and straightened Craig’s napkin.

“I’ve found that’s the only way to get a decent drink around here. If there’s reason behind drinking, the bartender won’t half ass it. I hope you like whiskey.”

“I usually stick with wine, but why the hell not?” I laughed uncomfortably. I didn’t drink whiskey because men like Craig drank whiskey. What if I woke up with facial hair or something? It’s a manly drink after all. Whiskey. Just the word itself scares the crap out of me. The inner muscles of my thighs contracted as I looked down and found Craig’s hand resting gently on the inside of my knee. “And what the hell do you think you’re doing?” I growled in a low whisper. He glanced over at me before rolling his eyes and removing his hand.

“So Madison, tell me about yourself. What do you do?” Bill asked and I brought my glaring eyes away from Craig and calmed myself down upon looking at Bill.

“I’m a writer.”

“Oh what kind of stuff do you write? Any of that porno stuff?”

Porno stuff? Was this guy for real? “Murder mysteries,” I stated firmly. Just when I was thinking this guy was somewhat normal he asks if I write porn. Okay, yeah, I do, but coming from his mouth, he made it sound so impure.

“Nice,” he smiled just as our drinks arrived. “I love reading murder mysteries.”

“Billy don’t fool yourself, you don’t read,” Craig butted in and I glared at him again. He just needed to sit there and stay quiet.

“Well I propose a toast,” Bill declared holding his drink up in the air. Rolling my eyes I lifted my glass, as did Craig. “Here’s to making sweet, sweet music.”

My eyes grew wide. This dinner, I finally understood. Was this a dinner to introduce me to a possible third in our romps in bed? Was this a classy invitation to a threesome? Did he honestly think I was the kind of woman to go to bed with two men at the same time? He’s such a scumbag. As Bill lifted the glass to his mouth I couldn’t help but see the obvious wedding band on his finger. I slumped back against the booth and starred at his hand. Now I was confused. Beyond confused, I was baffled. “Aren’t you going to try your drink?” Craig whispered into my ear. Oh fuck. They were planning on getting me drunk and then taking advantage of me, because there was no way in my sober mind I would make responsible decisions. I nodded my head and lifted the glass to my lips. I was shocked when the smell of lemon reached my nose instead of the strong smell of whiskey. I took a small sip and the liquid felt like soft velvet rolling over my tongue.

“Well?” Bill asked with a smile as I set the glass down.

I looked over at Craig and he had the same curious look on his face. “I can’t sleep with you anymore.”

Craig’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head, as he looked back at me, his whole face flushed red. “What?!”

“Oh, you meant the drink? It’s good actually, I’m shocked I like it,” I smiled as I picked the glass back up and sipped on it. My eyes darted over to Bill whose mouth hung open, a shimmer in his eye.

“Wait . . . wait, wait, wait!! Did you just tell Addsy you can’t sleep with him anymore? Is this real life right now?” Bill asked before bursting out into laughter.

Oh shit, I guess I did say that out loud, in front of his friend, in public, before we even ordered our food. I turned my glance over to Craig, who was an even darker shade of red, and bit my bottom lip. “Look Craig, I was thinking and-“

“Can we talk about this later please? In private?” I nodded my head and looked down at his napkin that was once again messed up. I reached up to straighten it but his hand wrapped around mine, bringing it down underneath the table as the waiter came back to take our food order. He didn’t let go of my hand, and I knew right then where this night was going. I picked up my glass and quickly finished off what was left before reaching across my body to fix his napkin. This night was going downhill, and it was going fast.

Sunday, May 9, 2010


“You slept with her again?” Talbot shouted from behind me in the locker room. My eyes grew wide and he began laughing, “your back is all scratched up.” I looked over my shoulder to try and get a view of my back, but I failed miserably.

“Is it really that bad?” I asked him just as Billy walked into the room.

“Holy. Shit. Addsy, not to sound like I check out your body or anything, but what the hell is wrong with your back?”

I turned to Billy and just as I opened my mouth, Max answered for me. “He slept with his neighbor again!”

“Well you said she was a freak right? I guess you deserve that. Hopefully those don’t scar,” Billy laughed taking a seat at his locker.

“Is it honestly that bad? I can’t remember her digging her nails in that hard.” Talbot walked up to me and took a closer look.

“Scabs. Tiny little scabs. Tiny fresh little scabs. You dirty whore.”

“Scabs? Really?! She broke skin?!” I asked shocked now heading for the bathroom to try and look in the mirror. I found a hand mirror on the sink and held it up, looking in it over my shoulder. Sure enough, all over my back, bright red lines. It almost looked like war paint. I thought about our long romp in my bedroom earlier in the day and smiled.

“Oh fuck.”

I lowered the mirror and looked at Billy questioningly. “I know that smile.” My eyebrows pinched together at his words, clearly confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re falling for her.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. He really had no idea what she was like. Well, what she was like outside of the bedroom. It was a pure Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde show. “Falling for her? She scares the crap out of me!”

“Then why are you sleeping with her!?”

“You saw her! She’s a knock out! Plus she’s an animal in the bed. It’s outside of bed though she’s sketchy. She’s a writer. I guess the only way I can describe it, is if she played hockey, she’d be a goalie. Her mindset is questionable just like Flowers.”

“What about me?” Flower asked as he walked into the bathroom.

“Addsy and I were just making plans for dinner with his neighbor. He was telling me her personality is similar to yours,” Billy explained not tearing his eyes away from mine.

“You found a female version of me? I highly doubt that,” Flower laughed as I watched him place his toothbrush and toothpaste down on the counter, parallel to each other. It wasn’t until I met Madison that I began picking up on tiny habits the guys had. Flower’s got the OCD fever, it’s just not magnified like Madison's.

“No, you could be twins.” I nod before leaving the bathroom, Billy hot on my trails.

“Dinner, you, me, and boobs. Tomorrow night. You pick the location.”

“That’ll be impossible. How am I supposed to get her to-“

“Use your fingers! Fuck Addsy, do I need to give you step-by-step instructions?”

I paced around my bedroom trying to figure out how to exactly ask Madison to dinner. I didn’t want her to think I was interested in her more than just sex, but then again, if I was, Billy wouldn’t be at dinner. I knew she was on her balcony because I could smell the strawberry smoke drift in through the slider door. I walked into my bathroom and checked out my game day suit one last time before taking a deep breath and heading toward the balcony.

“Hey Madison, my boyfriend, I mean friend, the friend you thought was my boyfriend . . . anyways, he wants to treat us to dinner tomorrow night. So that’d be great if you could come. I mean the invitation is more for you than me, but I’m gonna go, cause, I want . . . to? Anyways, you can pick where you want to go. If you want to eat in that’s cool, or we can just head down to Station Square. Whatever. Ball’s in your court.”

She eyed me curiously, and I stood there without a damn clue as to what just left my mouth. It came out in a jumbled mess.

“What’s with the suit?”

“I have a game tonight. Do you want to come?”

“No. I was just curious.”

“So dinner. Tomorrow night?”

“I guess.”

“Okay, well then. I guess I’ll check with you in the morning about what we can do?”

“I guess.”

“Alright then. Have a good night.”

“Thanks. Don’t get killed.”

“I . . . never . . . what?”

“Hockey. It looks dangerous. Don’t get killed.”

I nodded my head and walked back into my bedroom. Don’t get killed. Was that her way of saying that she wants me? I wonder how good she is at blowjobs? There goes my mind again, jumping from one thing to the gutter. It’s been doing that a lot since her breasts came into contact with my face.

I locked up the house and headed down to my truck where I prepared myself for the drive to the Mellon. The season was coming to an end, which also meant my thirty-second birthday was just around the corner. Thirty-two. Seems like I should have a few kids by now. Oh fuck it. Having kids with my profession wouldn’t be easy. I can always wait until I retire. People are having kids later in life now-a-days anyways.

Then I began to think about her. What she would be like as a mother. Those poor children. They probably wouldn’t be allowed to leave the house. My phone rang pulling me out of my thoughts and I answered, switching it to speaker phone.

“How are things Craig?”

“Good Anthony. What’s up?”

“Just checking in. Making sure you’re staying out of trouble.”

“Of course I am. I haven’t made any headline news have I?”

“I meant with your neighbor.”


I heard him laugh on the other end and I felt sweat begin to build up on the back of my neck. My checks and ears were burning. “Stacy just got off the phone with Madison. You’re sleeping with her?”


“Are you finally thinking about settling down? I’ve been trying to get you to do that for years now.”

I began to laugh uncontrollably. Settle down? Settle down with Madison?! He was fucking out of his mind. “No. Definitely not. She drives me crazy.”

“Then why are you sleeping with her?”

“Why not?”

“Whatever. Have a good game.”

“Oh wait, Anthony one more thing. What’s her last name?” I pulled a pen out of the center counsel as I waited at a red light.


I wrote the name down on my hand. “Madison Johnson. That’s kind of boring.”

“So is the name Craig Adams. What do you want her last name for?”

“I want to check out some of her books. She wants going on there.”

“Then you want her pen name. Sydney Riley.”

“Sidney? Really?” I began to laugh again. I wasn’t exactly sure why that was so funny, but it was. I ended my conversation with Anthony just as I crossed the bridge into downtown.

Waving to the fans as I walked towards the Mellon, I was greeted by a very anxious Billy Guerin. “Dinner with your girlfriend tomorrow night?” He raised his eyebrows, a toothless grin on his face. I opened the door and didn’t even bother holding it open for him. If he was going to play this game, I was just going to take the high road and ignore him.

“Come on Addsy, do we have dinner plans or not?”

“Yes we have dinner plans. She’ll let me know in the morning what she wants to do.”

I waited for the crude comment. The joke. The punch line, but he just nodded his head and we walked into the locker room together. As I shrugged my suit jacket off, I could feel eyes on the back of my head. I turned around and saw Billy starring at me.

“Addsy’s got a new lady friend, and I am joining them for dinner tomorrow night. I will be giving everyone a full report card on her on our flight to Boston the next morning.”

“What the fuck Guerin?”

“Stop denying what we all know is true. You fell in love with the vag.”

Monday, May 3, 2010


Just after midnight, I push my front door open and walk inside. My thighs hurt. My whole body hurts. It’s been years since I’ve engaged in mating. Considering I just turned thirty-one . . . oh Jesus. I shake my head once I count out five years. I stop there, not wanting to further embarrass myself. I head straight for my bathroom where I pull out my rolodex of medications. Each alphabetized by name, in small zip-lock pouches. I run my fingers over the letters until I reach the letter P. I find the pouch with Plan B written on it and see the post-it note inside with the large word expired written in black sharpie.

“Oh fuck.”

I pop the pouch off the tracks and set it down on my sink counter. I had no other option. I had to go to the pharmacy first thing in the morning. I’d have to leave my house. I’d have to drive to Rite Aid. I’d have to go inside of Rite Aid. “Breathe Madison,” I whispered to myself before stepping away from the counter and turning to start the shower. I could smell him on me. All musky. Smelling of . . . man.

Oh dear God, his penis was inside of me. But, it felt good . . .? Right? I mean, my eyes rolled to the back of my head. I had an orgasm. I screamed. I cursed. He man handled my boobs. I like that he man handled my boobs. I pulled my dress off and looked at my naked body in the mirror. There were scratches above my breasts where his fingers dug in to me. Bruises forming on my hip bones. Was it wrong that I wanted more? I wanted him to tear my body apart? How do I make that happen? Send him a thank you card asking him for another round?

Early the next morning I sat down at my computer and typed in Plan B to see if the drug has changed at all in the last few years. It was the same pill as before, but I discovered there was a card one could print out to discreetly hand to the pharmacist requesting the pill. Life just got eight times easier. I quickly printed it out and marked the box requesting to purchase the pill. I shoved it in my front pocket, grabbed my purse and keys and headed to the garage.

I crawled into my old, beat up car and opened the garage door behind me. I checked all the mirrors twice to make sure they were in their right positions before pulling on my seat belt. I started the car and slowly backed out, stopping at the curb to look both ways before continuing on my way.

I took a deep breath before I climbed out of my car and headed into Rite Aid. I looked around at the people around me, and they all looked at me suspiciously. Did I have sex written on my forehead? They knew why I was here. I stood in line for the pharmacy and when it was finally my time, I locked eyes with the man in front of me.

“Hi, can I help you?”

I nodded my head and stepped forward, sliding the piece of paper across the counter to him. He picked it up, read it and nodded his head. I grimly smiled back at him and walked away. I wandered around the store for a bit, and found myself staring at the take home pregnancy tests. What if Plan B doesn’t work and he inseminated me? The devil sperm could be declaring war on my eggs right this instant. I turned on my heel and headed right back to the pharmacy where the same gentleman from before smiled at me and placed a white bag on top of the counter. I handed over my money, and he handed over the bag.

The nice thing about Plan B is that it doesn’t harm me. It just kills the devil sperm. They thought they could declare war, but they had no idea I was about to drop a nuke. How could I even put myself into this situation? It felt so good though. He made his point that he’s not gay. I made my point too, whatever that may be, I had no idea. I have a working vagina? That would have to settle for now.

Once I pulled back into my driveway, his truck was gone, and his house was dark. Luckily I escaped the awkward morning after conversation. ”Hi, how are you?” “Good, just went and got Plan B.” “Oh good call, well I’ll see you around.”

Once back inside of my house I pulled the box out of the white bag and set it down on the kitchen counter before retrieving a glass from the cupboard. I filled it up with water and sat down at the breakfast bar and prepared myself for the nuclear bomb. I opened the box and popped the white pill out of its holding cell and shoved it in my mouth. I washed it down with the water and sighed deeply. Goodbye devil sperm. I held the box in my hand and flipped it around in curiosity. Plan B® One-Step does not protect against HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

“Oh fuck.”

I tried not to think about any possible disease growing in my under region as I threw myself back into my book. My deadline for my first draft was fast approaching and I still had an ending to figure out. What was going to happen with the mass murderer? I heard a knock on my door and glanced over at the clock to see it was just after three in the afternoon. I wasn’t expecting anyone. Unless of course, it was him. I wasn’t expecting him though. Or should I be? Are you supposed to follow up two days after having sex? Were there rules I was unaware of? I tidied up my desk and headed to the front door. I pulled it open and no one was there. Just as I was about to shut my door my eyes landed on the white teddy bear with its arms wrapped around a bottle of wine, flowers resting across it’s feet, a note lying on top. I was immediately peeved. Flowers should never be on their side. The only time they should be on their side is if you were to lay them on a casket or a grave. Was I dead to him?

Dinner 8PM?

I rolled my eyes at how adolescent his note was. A teddy bear? Really? I left the things there and closed the door behind me. I made the short trek to his door and knocked gently two times. He swung the door open and smiled at me.

“Look, no need to be all romantic. If all you want is the occasional lay then just call me. Or knock on my door. I have no problem with being neighbors with benefits, but I’m knee deep in my book right now. So how about in the morning?”

“Yeah sure. Works for me. I have to be out of the house by nine though.”

“Six it is. See you then.” I spun on my heel and headed off his porch and back to my door. I left the flowers where they were, and the teddy bear, but scooped up the bottle of wine. I headed back into my house and set the wine down on the counter and my eyes grew wide. I just made a date for sex? A 6AM date for sex? Of course the minute my eyes landed on him, my body began to talk and completely shut down my brain. If my brain had been functioning the first thing I would have asked him is if he was clean. If he had been tested lately. Slept with any whores lately. Oh dear God. He slept with me! I’m a whore!

I worked through the night on the closing chapters of my book and when I finally glanced at the clock it was nearly 5:30. I cleaned up shop and headed to my bedroom to brush my teeth and hair. I glanced at myself in the mirror to evaluate my wardrobe. Red and black plaid flannel pants and a red tank top. It was going to end up on the floor anyways, so what did it matter? I glanced around the room one last time before making my way downstairs. I locked up my house good and tight before heading over to his door. I knocked twice and when he answered the door a smile slowly crept onto his face. His eyes lingering around my chest. “Are you going to let me in? Or are we doing this on the porch?”

He grabbed onto my hand and pulled my body into his, kissing me on my lips. This time I kissed back. I hear the door shut behind me and he pulled away from me, only to drag me up to his bedroom. “Before we start, I have some questions and ground rules.”

“Okay?” He raised an eyebrow at me and I sat down on the edge of the bed.

“You have to wear a condom. If I tell you to stop, you stop. What happens in this house, stays in this house. Are you clean?”

“Am I clean?”

“Yeah. Disease-wise?”

“Clean as an arrow.”

“You mean straight as an arrow?”

“Yeah that too.”

He stepped forward and nudged his way between my legs. His hands running up the back of my head. My eyes closed involuntarily at his touch and I felt the rough scrap of his beard against my neck. “Oh, one last thing. Next time, shave.”

“That might be a problem later on, now shut up. You told me to shut up, now I’m telling you to shut up.”

So I did as he said. I kept my mouth shut except for the moans escaping through my lips whenever his fingers rolled over a sensitive part of my body. I arched into him and in moments I could feel myself transform into the nymphomaniac I once was in a past life. I pulled my shirt off, then his. Stripped myself of my pants, and then his. He walked away momentarily and when he came back I noticed there was now a condom suctioned around his erection. I stayed sitting on the edge of the bed, and he spread my knees apart as far as they could go, before he violently forced himself upon me. My fingers dug into his back as my legs quivered at the sudden intrusion. He withdrew and slam into me harder this time. It was going to be a rough morning. “If I lay down, will you grab my tits?” I ask him in short breaths as he continues to rock into me. He stopped shortly and looked into my eyes.


I unraveled my arms from around his upper body and fell back onto the bed. I brought my feet up onto the edge of the bed and his hands rested on my knees as he found a steady, yet heart-racing pace. He finally leaned forward and grabbed onto my boobs giving them a tight squeeze. His thumbs rolling over my nipples in the most exquisite synchronized formation. After a few moments of the same thing I couldn’t help but feel a little bored, my arousal dropping off a little bit. “Come on Craig, you gonna fuck me or continue to cradle me?”

His eyes darkened and for a moment he looked pissed off. “What else do you want me to do?”

“I want bruises. Give me bruises, and scratches. I don’t want to walk for the rest of the day.”

“You’re such a fucking freak,” he grinned before he leaned down onto me, taking a nipple into his mouth. He was pushing his dick so hard into me, I could hear the bed frame slamming against the wall. “That better?”

“Oh fuck.”

Sunday, May 2, 2010


I'M BAAAACK!!! Much love to MSD for sending me a kick in the ass email!! I checked my email and saw 'Craig Adams' and got all excited. haha. I got new, awesome inspiration for this. So I'm gonna go with the flow and see how things go. This is short, and hasn't been edited. I just wanna let this baby fly!

Gay men typically don’t like pussy, so if I thrust my tongue into her sweet, hot spot, maybe she’ll understand. I fell into a very simplistic rhythm with my tongue. When I hear her count out each stroke in the direction I was going, I knew I could make her orgasm by throwing her off rhythm. I figured her out that quickly. When I roll my tongue up the length of her clit for a fourth time she screams out to me. I pull away and try to conceal the smile that wants to appear.

“So you’re really not gay?”

“No,” I chuckle as I slid up her body, taking her dress off as I go. She lays beneath me completely naked. She came over to my home in a lightweight dress with no bra and no panties, and accuses me of being gay? It made no sense. “I told you, I want to prove to you that I’m a hungry, straight male.” I grip her breasts in my hands firmly and she arches her back into my touch.

“Hungry? We just ate.”

“I want to fuck you, Madison.”

“No need to be crude, Craig.”

“How else would you like me to say it? Madison, if I don’t get my male genetalia in your female genetalia soon, I’m gonna have to go to the dry cleaners tomorrow, and I just don't want to.” Her eyes glazed over and for a moment I thought she was going to cry, but she grabbed onto my hands and shoved me off of her. I thought for sure she was going to grab her dress and leave but instead she was pulling at my clothes. Her tits were flopping around as her arms moved frantically on my shirt and pants. Once we were both fully naked she got up, turned me around, and forced me down on the bed. “Any ritual you need to do before we get started?” I ask with a grin on my face as she places a hand on my shoulder and crawls onto my lap, her pussy rubbing on my hard dick.

“Shut the fuck up already.”

She grabs my dick firmly in her hand and glides me inside of her. She sits down fully on my lap and tilts her head back. groaning. She’s tight. Maybe the tightest woman I have ever been with. I don’t care though, her large tits are in my face and I take a nipple in my mouth just as she begins to grind her hips into mine. I take her other nipple in my mouth, biting softly as she begins to bounce and moan out my name.

I hold on to her hips, helping her slam down onto my dick over and over again. He tits are slapping against me and I know it won’t take long for me before I come. Her head goes back again, but so does her whole upper body. I worry at first that she’s falling but she lands with her hands over her head on the floor and I’m hitting walls I’ve never felt inside of a woman before.

She’s a freak. An acrobatic freak.

“Madison, are you going to come? I’m going to come.”

“I told you to shut the fuck up Craig.”

When the words leave her mouth I grip harder into her hips and slam into her the best I can from being on my ass. He body goes limp the same time mine does. I lean forward with all the strength I have and pull her back onto the bed with me. I fall backward with her on top of me. Once our breathing has steadied she stands up and throws her dress on over her body.

“What are you doing?” I ask as she reaches the bedroom door. She turns around and blushes at me.

“Leaving,” she simply states before turning back around and heading downstairs. When I hear the front door shut I look down at my naked body and couldn’t believe what just transpired. She went from thinking I was gay, to pulling our Cirque du Solei on me to leaving? What the fuck?

“She’s a freak.”

“What?” Billy half laughed, half choked over his sandwich.

“Well first off she thought you were my boyfriend.”

“Sorry Addsy, you’re just not my type. Geno is more my type, you know, the ones you can’t understand.”

“Anyways, I’m in the middle of boning her and-“

“WAIT!” Max calls out from across the lounge. “How’d you go from being gay to boning her?”

“I had a point to make.”

“Ah, touché.”

“Anyways, she turned into this whole different woman, telling me to shut up, then she pulled some acrobatic crap on me.” Max’s eyebrows raised and I nodded my head with a smile. “Here’s the thing though. We finish, she pulls her dress on and leaves. I haven’t seen her since.”

“Maybe you weren’t able to perform to her standards, maybe she still thinks you’re gay,” Max chimed in and I threw my crumbled up napkin at him.

“Craig, look, you have to woo the woman not just fuck her,” Billy added and Max rolled his eyes.

“Woo? What the fuck is woo?”

“You know . . . woo. Fancy shit.”

“Fancy shit? Like . . .?”

“Flowers.” “Jewelry.” “Food.” “Money.” “Cable.” “Spa- wait, cable? Really Maxime?”

“What woman doesn’t want cable?” Max asks looking at Billy, to which Billy simply rolls his eyes and puts his attention back on me.

“Anyways Craig, just woo her.”

So I needed to woo the woman. Was I looking to have a relationship with her though? Wouldn’t that be leading her on? I mean all I want to do it suck on those boobs of hers. So tasty and warm. Her body, a complete temple hidden underneath her 1990’s clothing. If this is what I have to do to continue getting in her pants, than so be it. I’ll woo the damn woman.

Overkill. I was walking towards my certain death. I looked like a damn high school kid on his way to his first date. Teddy bear, bottle of wine and daises. Complete overkill. Instead of fully embarrassing myself I wrote out a simple note, Dinner 8PM?, and left it and the items on her porch. I rang the door bell and hauled ass to my own door. I peaked through the windows, straining my eyes to see if she would come out. I saw a shadow at first, and then Madison made her way across the driveway and up to my door. When she knocked I tried to act casual as I pulled the door open.

“Look, no need to be all romantic. If all you want is the occasional lay then just call me. Or knock on my door. I have no problem with being neighbors with benefits, but I’m knee deep in my book right now. So how about in the morning?”

My mouth hung open, my eyes wide. Was this real? Neighbors with benefits? “Um, yeah sure, works for me. I have to be out of the house by nine though.”

“Six it is. See you then.” With that she spun on her heel and headed back to her door. I watched in amazement as she went through the motions of entering her house. A five minute process. Once she was inside, I headed back into my own house and went straight for the liquor cabinet. I couldn’t even put into words what just happened. I poured myself a glass of Jack and sat at the dining room table. Stunned.

Sunday, December 13, 2009


I wanted to have dinner with him, I did. I just wasn’t too sure on how we would interact. We’re very different. He just seems very disassembled. I know I’m put together, could I sit through a night with someone that’s all over the place? I’d like to get to know him better, but I also didn’t want to put myself through the torture he had already put me through during our lunch together.

I managed to ignore him, as best I could. I spied on him, but isn’t that what neighbors are supposed to do? I needed some inspiration from him for my book after all. That was how I spent most of my days anyways, writing and squeezing in some yard work. I averaged around 10 hours of sleep a week. It wasn’t insomnia; it was more of an adrenaline rush. I knew I’d catch up on my sleep once my book was out. Once I could wipe my hands clean of yet another murder mystery.

It was yet another sleepless night, yet I managed to pound out over forty pages worth of smut. Every one of my books had a sex scene in it, this time though; it was the murderer and his next-door neighbor. Foreshadowing for my own life? I sure as hell hope not. He’s probably dirty and full of germs. I shiver just at the thought.

I step out onto the balcony to take in the sunrise where I hear two voices over on Craig’s balcony. “I hope we didn’t wake you up.” I take in his appearance; he’s in a robe, no pants, a cigar in one hand, and a drink in the other. The man he is with looks the same, except his robe hangs open.

“Oh no, not at all. I actually haven’t gone to bed yet.” I eye the man he’s with. Could he be a possible lover? Is Craig . . . gay?

“Working on the book?”

“Yeah. My editor is on my ass, so I haven’t gotten much sleep this week. I just came out to get some fresh air. You guys enjoy your morning,” I flashed them a smile and step back into my bedroom. I keep the door open though, and do what I do best. I eavesdrop.

”You wouldn’t know what to do with those kid.”

“You’re probably right, I wouldn’t.”

“You just gotta wrap your hand around it and tug a little.”

“Wrap my hand around it and tug? Why do you make it sound like I’m gonna milk a cow?”

My hand flies up to cover my gaping mouth. My eyes wide with surprise. They weren’t honestly going to have oral sex out in the open were they?

”When they’re that big, that’s what you have to do. Unless you can fit the whole thing in your mouth. Either way man.”

“I’m gonna need another drink, you have anywhere to be?”

“Nope, I’m living in a hotel with Dan, I’ll take a refill.”

“Oh my fucking-lanta,” I gasp and retreated into my bathroom to splash some cold water on my blushing cheeks. This was a lot of information to take in. Not only was Craig gay, but also he’s seeing someone who already has a boyfriend. That poor man, this Dan. He’s probably been up all night waiting for his boyfriend to return to him.

The home wrecker!

“Madison! Madison!” I pull away from the bathroom sink and dry my face off as I head back out onto the balcony.

“Yeah?” I ask with a smile as his eyes travel down my body. Oh no, he’s one of those guys. The ones that notice what a disaster I am. He probably wants to go on a shopping spree.

“Have you thought about my dinner offer?”

“Oh yeah! Sure! When?” Suddenly knowing he’s not actually hitting on me, and trying to get in my pants, dinner could be fun. Or, at least, I hope.

“How about tomorrow night?”

“You’ll cook?”

“Yeah. Come on over around seven.”

“Should I bring anything?”

“Just yourself.”

I smiled at him and nodded my head before retreating back into my bedroom. He may be disassembled, but I could put up with that for one night right? His house can’t be a disaster; his boyfriend looks like he likes to clean. This might actually be somewhat okay.

Dressed in my best spring dress, I stepped into my Birkenstocks and headed over to Craig’s front door. I was twenty minutes late, but it wasn’t fully my fault. I dropped all my q-tips on the floor, and then had to make sure there was an even amount of them when I put them back. There’s nothing worse than discovering only one q-tip left when you need two. That’s why I keep everything in even numbers. It’s easier that way.

I knocked on the door three times and stepped back. He swung the door open, a white towel over his shoulder, and the smell of pasta filling my nose. “You’re late, I hope you didn’t get lost,” he laughed as he stepped aside and allowed me to walk in.

“Um, no,” I stated shortly as I made my way into his kitchen where I looked around. Pots were in the sink and two plates filled with pasta were waiting on the kitchen table. “You made this?” I asked pointing to the table.

“Yup, just dished up the plates,” he smiled as he pulled a chair out for me and I sat down. He uncorked a bottle of red wine, and poured two glasses. While he was occupied I took my time to look around the place. It sure didn’t look like a gay man lived here. Don’t they have style? Then again, he did just move in a month prior, and wasn’t home a whole lot.

The food was good, almost too good. No straight man cooks that good, and the plates we were eating off of were beautiful. So he does have taste. “Would you like some more wine?” He asked once he finished his glass.

“Sure, why not. I haven’t had wine in awhile,” I giggled as he grinned and jumped up from his chair to grab another bottle. When he sat back down, he pulled his chair closer to mine, and leaned forward, studying my face. I felt myself blush and throw up a wall at how close he was. I knew he wouldn’t make a move though. The last time I checked gay men weren’t interested in women, if anything, he was probably surveying my recent eyebrow job.

“You are a beautiful woman Madison.”

“Thanks Craig,” I laughed, sipping on my wine.

“No really, you’re magnificent.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. I froze in place, my eyes wide in shock. I felt his tongue push its way between my lips. When I didn’t budge he pulled away and looked at me. Disappointment washed over his face. Then it hit me, and I tried to hold back my laughter.

“You’re bi?”


“You’re bisexual?”


“Why are you kissing me then? Am I like an experiment?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Why would a gay man kiss a woman?”


“Aren’t you gay? Wasn’t that your boyfriend yesterday morning?”

He looked at me incredulously. Was I not supposed to know? He stood up from his chair and grabbed my hand, dragging me behind him through his house. He took the steps two at a time and I had to follow suit to stay at pace with him. We walked into his bedroom and he yanked on my arm, tossing me toward his bed where I fell. I sat on the edge and looked at him expectantly. What was he doing? Oh dear God, was I sitting on dirty sheets? Did he have sex in this bed without changing the sheets?

He stepped between my legs and pushed down on my shoulders, laying me down on the bed. “What are you doing?”

“I’m not gay.”

I flung forward and looked at him grinning. “What? But-“

“He’s a teammate. We were having a drink. I’m not gay. I want to prove to you I’m not gay.”

“Well I believe you. You said it, you’re not gay. So why are we here in your bedroom?”

“Because I want to show you.”


“Just lay down.” He placed his hands back on my shoulders, but didn’t push me down. I went down on my own will. How was he going to show me? He wasn’t going to rape me was he? Oh dear, what did I get myself into? I felt his lips hit the inside of my knee and I inhaled sharply. “What are-“

“Shut up.”

“Okay.” I closed my eyes, intoxicated by the wine, as well as his lips slowly moving up my thighs. He hands ran up the outsides of my thighs, pulling my dress up to my waist. Oh God. When was the last time I had sex? What underwear am I wearing? Crap, I’m not wearing any.

“I never took you as the type to skip on the underwear,” he mumbled against my thigh, biting softly.

Was I about to have sex with Craig? Did I want to have sex with Craig? I knew all I needed to say was ‘no’, but the only noise emitting from my mouth was a low rumble. I guess there was no turning back now, considering he can see my vagina in clear sight.

I felt his tongue roll up my clit and I push my head back on the mattress. He hooked his arms underneath my legs and brought them up so my feet were flush with the edge of the bed. My eyes closed as his tongue did things I didn’t even think were humanly possible to do. My mind synced in with his movements. Three flicks up, three to the right, three to he left, then three raspberry kisses in the surrounding area. I thought for sure as I counted that if I’d hit four I would die.

“One, two, three . . . one, two, three,” I breathed out, keeping in sync with him. As my toes curled and my stomach sucked in trying to prevent my body from convulsing, I felt his lips trail up to my belly button.

“It’s all about numbers with you isn’t it?”


“Then why are you counting?”

“Just making sure I don’t hit four.”

“What happens if you hit four?”

“I’ll die.”

“Well then, I’ll make sure you don’t hit four. I’d like to keep you around.”

His lips attached themselves to me again and my eyes closed. I ran my hands over his head, not able to find a grip in his short hair. I bit down on my bottom lip as he did the same. One, two, three . . . one, two, three, fo- “WAIT!”

He pulled away and looked up at me. “So you’re really not gay?” I asked breathing heavily, just looking for an out before he caused me to lose all feeling in my legs.