Sunday, May 2, 2010


I'M BAAAACK!!! Much love to MSD for sending me a kick in the ass email!! I checked my email and saw 'Craig Adams' and got all excited. haha. I got new, awesome inspiration for this. So I'm gonna go with the flow and see how things go. This is short, and hasn't been edited. I just wanna let this baby fly!

Gay men typically don’t like pussy, so if I thrust my tongue into her sweet, hot spot, maybe she’ll understand. I fell into a very simplistic rhythm with my tongue. When I hear her count out each stroke in the direction I was going, I knew I could make her orgasm by throwing her off rhythm. I figured her out that quickly. When I roll my tongue up the length of her clit for a fourth time she screams out to me. I pull away and try to conceal the smile that wants to appear.

“So you’re really not gay?”

“No,” I chuckle as I slid up her body, taking her dress off as I go. She lays beneath me completely naked. She came over to my home in a lightweight dress with no bra and no panties, and accuses me of being gay? It made no sense. “I told you, I want to prove to you that I’m a hungry, straight male.” I grip her breasts in my hands firmly and she arches her back into my touch.

“Hungry? We just ate.”

“I want to fuck you, Madison.”

“No need to be crude, Craig.”

“How else would you like me to say it? Madison, if I don’t get my male genetalia in your female genetalia soon, I’m gonna have to go to the dry cleaners tomorrow, and I just don't want to.” Her eyes glazed over and for a moment I thought she was going to cry, but she grabbed onto my hands and shoved me off of her. I thought for sure she was going to grab her dress and leave but instead she was pulling at my clothes. Her tits were flopping around as her arms moved frantically on my shirt and pants. Once we were both fully naked she got up, turned me around, and forced me down on the bed. “Any ritual you need to do before we get started?” I ask with a grin on my face as she places a hand on my shoulder and crawls onto my lap, her pussy rubbing on my hard dick.

“Shut the fuck up already.”

She grabs my dick firmly in her hand and glides me inside of her. She sits down fully on my lap and tilts her head back. groaning. She’s tight. Maybe the tightest woman I have ever been with. I don’t care though, her large tits are in my face and I take a nipple in my mouth just as she begins to grind her hips into mine. I take her other nipple in my mouth, biting softly as she begins to bounce and moan out my name.

I hold on to her hips, helping her slam down onto my dick over and over again. He tits are slapping against me and I know it won’t take long for me before I come. Her head goes back again, but so does her whole upper body. I worry at first that she’s falling but she lands with her hands over her head on the floor and I’m hitting walls I’ve never felt inside of a woman before.

She’s a freak. An acrobatic freak.

“Madison, are you going to come? I’m going to come.”

“I told you to shut the fuck up Craig.”

When the words leave her mouth I grip harder into her hips and slam into her the best I can from being on my ass. He body goes limp the same time mine does. I lean forward with all the strength I have and pull her back onto the bed with me. I fall backward with her on top of me. Once our breathing has steadied she stands up and throws her dress on over her body.

“What are you doing?” I ask as she reaches the bedroom door. She turns around and blushes at me.

“Leaving,” she simply states before turning back around and heading downstairs. When I hear the front door shut I look down at my naked body and couldn’t believe what just transpired. She went from thinking I was gay, to pulling our Cirque du Solei on me to leaving? What the fuck?

“She’s a freak.”

“What?” Billy half laughed, half choked over his sandwich.

“Well first off she thought you were my boyfriend.”

“Sorry Addsy, you’re just not my type. Geno is more my type, you know, the ones you can’t understand.”

“Anyways, I’m in the middle of boning her and-“

“WAIT!” Max calls out from across the lounge. “How’d you go from being gay to boning her?”

“I had a point to make.”

“Ah, touché.”

“Anyways, she turned into this whole different woman, telling me to shut up, then she pulled some acrobatic crap on me.” Max’s eyebrows raised and I nodded my head with a smile. “Here’s the thing though. We finish, she pulls her dress on and leaves. I haven’t seen her since.”

“Maybe you weren’t able to perform to her standards, maybe she still thinks you’re gay,” Max chimed in and I threw my crumbled up napkin at him.

“Craig, look, you have to woo the woman not just fuck her,” Billy added and Max rolled his eyes.

“Woo? What the fuck is woo?”

“You know . . . woo. Fancy shit.”

“Fancy shit? Like . . .?”

“Flowers.” “Jewelry.” “Food.” “Money.” “Cable.” “Spa- wait, cable? Really Maxime?”

“What woman doesn’t want cable?” Max asks looking at Billy, to which Billy simply rolls his eyes and puts his attention back on me.

“Anyways Craig, just woo her.”

So I needed to woo the woman. Was I looking to have a relationship with her though? Wouldn’t that be leading her on? I mean all I want to do it suck on those boobs of hers. So tasty and warm. Her body, a complete temple hidden underneath her 1990’s clothing. If this is what I have to do to continue getting in her pants, than so be it. I’ll woo the damn woman.

Overkill. I was walking towards my certain death. I looked like a damn high school kid on his way to his first date. Teddy bear, bottle of wine and daises. Complete overkill. Instead of fully embarrassing myself I wrote out a simple note, Dinner 8PM?, and left it and the items on her porch. I rang the door bell and hauled ass to my own door. I peaked through the windows, straining my eyes to see if she would come out. I saw a shadow at first, and then Madison made her way across the driveway and up to my door. When she knocked I tried to act casual as I pulled the door open.

“Look, no need to be all romantic. If all you want is the occasional lay then just call me. Or knock on my door. I have no problem with being neighbors with benefits, but I’m knee deep in my book right now. So how about in the morning?”

My mouth hung open, my eyes wide. Was this real? Neighbors with benefits? “Um, yeah sure, works for me. I have to be out of the house by nine though.”

“Six it is. See you then.” With that she spun on her heel and headed back to her door. I watched in amazement as she went through the motions of entering her house. A five minute process. Once she was inside, I headed back into my own house and went straight for the liquor cabinet. I couldn’t even put into words what just happened. I poured myself a glass of Jack and sat at the dining room table. Stunned.


  1. I really like your story and I'm happy your back. Craig Adams is very underrated and needs some love. I love the ways she thought him and Billy G were gay lovers. that made my day.
    Keep it up
    your doin GREAT!!
    cant wait for more

  2. hahahah oh my word, i laughed the whole time
    i love it !
    i was excited to see you update it : D

  3. Funny, funny, and nice to see an update.
    One question, what is it about giving stuffed animals to grown women? Is there any woman who actually likes this?

    Anyway, I like the way you just never know what Madison will do or say next.

  4. HAHA
    Oh I laughed:
    "She’s a freak. An acrobatic freak."

    Then Max with his "cable" haha whaaaat!

    I'm soo happy to see you've updated!
    I can't wait for more!

  5. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

    This is classic Kristina: funny, sexy, great characters and unpredicable!

    I love Madison. If this is her real sex life, I want to read the 40 pages of smut she wrote. She's a free spirit inside her OCDness.
    Everything that comes out of her mouth is funny and surprising.

    And poor Craig! She thinks he's gay, when she finds out he's not, she just uses him for freaky acrobatic sex where he's not allowed to speak(OK he did enjoy himself). She gets up leaves and doesn't thank him for the use of his body or speak to him the day after.

    Then he takes advice from Max and Billy on how to "Woo" her. I love how he feels like a high school kid bringing her his wooing gifts, than acts like one by dropping them off, ringing the doorbell and running!

    Okay a 6am date for sex when he doesn't have to leave until 9. I hope he stretches before he goes over!!

    I loved it, thanks again!

  6. Bah hahahaha!!!
    Yeah Craig Adams... LOL

    Seriously, that was so amusing! I love MAx, and Billy, and that just had me almost in hysterics*

    I hope you continue with this more often*

  7. Bahaha I have so much love for this! I'm so glad to see it updated! :D

    Craig Adams makes my life so much. With his inability to 'woo' and his not wanting a relationship. Ohhh Addsy, you'll learn someday :P

    I really want to quote all of this, but I'll go with my favorite line: “Sorry Addsy, you’re just not my type. Geno is more my type, you know, the ones you can’t understand.”

    I can't wait to see what you have instore for the rest of this!!

  8. Ha! I really cant put it into any other words...

    that was almost to perfect...loved it



    You're back!!!!

    Ok, I have no useful comment right now, I'm just super happy that you're back and that THIS is the story you updated tonight... yesssssss

    Let me sum up my fave part briefly.

    “Madison, are you going to come? I’m going to come.”
    “I told you to shut the fuck up Craig.”
    ^^ That was just amazing... like... seriously, fantastic.

    Please update this one soon... I love it!